Don’t be the annoying person in the gym…below are scenarios or people you may encounter at the gym as read on AskMen.com .
Usually a young male who has this odd habit of lifting up his shirt to wipe non-existent sweat away from his forehead, revealing a chiseled six pack. For some reason, this action always coincides with proximity to a young, attractive female. Since his eyes are covered by his shirt, he cannot see that she is rolling hers.
I’ve seen women do this, but it’s usually a guy thing. They’re obsessed with multiple varieties of supersets and compound sets. Such an apprach to exercise is admirable, but during busy gym times trying to carve out a fiefdom of several pieces of equipment that no one else is permitted to touch qualifies as douchbaggery. It’s annoying to see one of the few bench presses abandoned for several minutes with plates still on it, and when you finally decide to go and use it, the hoarder charges up, indignant, proclaiming, “I’m using that!”
Just like a cougar — a prowler of young men — except older…and a lot hungrier!
This is the guy who considers the gym to be his personal plenty of fish and hits on every person lacking a Y chromosome. He lives by the adage that it you fire off enough rounds, eventually you’ll hit something. The stench coming off him isn’t B.O.; it’s desperation.
She is a female version of Hercules, and she can lift more than you. She’s tough, focused and she doesn’t want to talk to any fishermen. In most cases, she doesn’t want to talk to anybody because she’s too busy kicking ass with the iron.
Try not to hurt yourself attempting to keep up with her. She is not impressed.
My fitness center, does in fact have one of these…even though we are a corporate gym!
He resembles an NFL offensive lineman. Two of them. When his mother gave birth to him, her screams shattered half the windows in the hospital. He eats large farm animals whole, and his workout regimen includes shoulder pressing the leg press, plates and all.
The Lost Boy
Young, skinny, pimply and clueless as to what to do in the gym. His face betrays one of constant confusion as he inspects the equipment. The only thing he seems to know how to do well is drool while wandering around looking at Hoop Earring Girls.
Hoop Earring Girl
She’s under 25. She’s hot. She knows this. She never makes eye contact with anyone. She wears expensive and tight-fitting gym attire that show off a figure that has not yet experienced the ravages of gravity. Her hair and makeup are done to perfection. She also wears jewelry — even perfume — to the gym. She wears headphones to tune out would-be suitors. She doesn’t want to talk to you. She pretends she doesn’t see you drooling over her.
She shows up, does 15 minutes at low intensity on a stair-climber — hardly enough to break a sweat — stretches a little, then leaves. If she keeps going to the gym, eventually she will transform into Miss Mountain Lion.
Miss Mountain Lion
They’re a virtual shopping center of weightlifting equipment: belts, gloves, straps, chalk, notebooks and bottles containing a milky purple liquid. They seem incapable of working out without this cornucopia of loot that they haul from station to station.
One Size Fits Most
This is the guy who wears those super-tight Under Armour T-shirts to the gym despite sporting a belly that looks like he’s well into his third trimester. He needs a girlfriend, if for no other reason than to have someone help him with clothes shopping.
Not Quite Awake Yet
They wear pajamas to the gym. Apparently that’s a thing now.
For us this guy may also be called “slippers Nic”…wearing slippers instead of shoes, not safe and not appropriate for workouts.
Can You Hear Me Now?
The person who occasionally lifts weights in between cell phone calls. The brain tumor will get them before too long.
Again, in our fitness center these people may be mid stride on the elliptical or treadmill, answering their phones or talking while sitting on the shoulder press machine.
The person who puts the treadmill on full incline and walks at a fast pace while hanging onto the hand rails for dear life.
Aka: Mountain-Climbing Wannabe.
This person may also be walking at full incline for 30 minutes at snail pace, 1.5-2.0 mph thinking they are actually getting a workout.